Let’s be real: hustle culture is killing your vibe

If you’re feeling constantly on edge, overwhelmed, stuck in a loop of doing and doing but still not feeling accomplished, you’re not broken. You’re just living in a system that glorifies burnout. Hustle culture has sold us the lie that more equals better. More hours, more effort, more side gigs, more noise — and if you can’t keep up? Then clearly you just need to try harder, right?

Wrong. 

Photo by David Lezcano on Unsplash

In my last blog post, I talked about how I spent roughly the last 2 years working on personal development. It was a tough and thrilling process. One of the ways I worked on bettering myself was reading every self-help/personal growth book I could get my hands on. 

I need a no-nonsense approach when it comes to stuff like this. I spent too many years making excuses for why I couldn't better myself or why I put up with things that didn't serve me or weren't in line with my values. I can't handle the "fluffy" self-help way. I'm lucky enough to have friends and family that fill me with all the positive feels. They make me feel valued and loved. What I need from a book about personal growth is someone telling me to cut the shit and get real for once. 

Here are 3 books I HIGHLY recommend if you're looking for some personal growth of your own.

I’m the type of girl that likes to plan everything.

When I was younger I had this picture in my head of what career I wanted, when I wanted to get married, how many kids I wanted to have, etc.

Over time I realized that things don’t really work that way, so I learned to be more adaptable. Even so, I still had this general “plan” for how things were meant to turn out.

Here I was, working at a job that I sorta liked, in a dead end relationship, going through the motions of life because it was in line with my “plan”.

Girl, was I ever in for a surprise.

Somehow, regardless of how much I planned - I found myself laid off from my job, single at 30, and spending my days laying on the couch watching Netflix with no motivation to do anything else.

That looks nothing like my plan.

Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to - you’re pretty much just along for the ride!

That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. Life is an adventure and it would be pretty boring if it didn’t have its ups and downs and if you always knew what was right around the corner.

If you’re a “planner” like me, here are a few things you can do when you find yourself nowhere near where you hoped.

Since I live by myself I spend a lot of time doing things alone. If I’m being honest, living alone has probably made me a bit more antisocial than I should be (oops).

I typically spend my weeknights by myself because I’ve gotten into a routine of getting home from work, making dinner, taking the dogs to the dog park or out for a walk, working on my blog or other business tasks, catching up on Netflix, then getting ready for bed.

This used to really bother me - spending so much time alone.

I think a lot of people have this fear, of doing things by themselves, that they avoid it at all costs.

"What does this mean about me? Does this make me awkward or uncool? Do I not have friends? Does this mean I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing things alone?"

Doing things by yourself doesn’t mean any of those things.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that there are life lessons to be learned in every situation.

It's my optimistic side.

Having to deal with anxiety for over half my life has both been a blessing and a curse. There are days where my anxiety is hard to deal with but there are also days where I feel like my anxiety has taught me more about life than I could have expected to learn any other way.

Dealing with anxiety and depression made me grow up pretty fast. I was forced to deal with such strong feelings so that they wouldn't take over my life.

Although it was tough, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Having anxiety has made me 'wise beyond my years' (now that I'm turning 30 I don't think I can say that anymore, haha). There are things that everyone goes through, whether they have anxiety or not. My anxiety taught me how to get through these things a little bit easier (or at least be more aware of them).

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

Here are 6 things that I've learned from having anxiety.

You’re at a party. It’s a nice party, though it maybe has too many people for your liking. You’re not sure how you got talked into coming, but since you’re already here, you try to socialize. How hard can it be, right? So you approach people, you try to talk. But damn, what kind of subject do you start? What’s popular these days? Do you talk about the movies? Wait, too predictable, frivolous. Okay, maybe the politics? Damn, not any good either, that’s too serious. But quick, there’s a cute person right there, you have to say something, anything. So you, in all your glory and wisdom, your palms sweating, your heart beating, finally manage to blurt out: “Hey! Lovely weather we’re having today, eh?!” And of course, the music stops at that moment, your head spins at the sheer awkwardness, and the person you tried talking to just stares at you for a few moments, clearly uncomfortable, and then they murmur some sort of an agreement and practically escape to the other room. And with that, you realize you’re doomed to a life of solitude with only a dozen cats as your companions. But hold on, not all is lost.

Life can get pretty crazy at times, which is why it's so important to learn how to simplify your life!

I was writing down my daily to-do's in my bullet journal the other day and the list kept getting longer and longer...which made me feel more and more overwhelmed. Why am I cramming so much "stuff" into my day/life? Sometimes my brain feels like a Chrome browser with thousands of tabs open all at once.

We're adding to our to-do list before we even get a chance to drink our morning coffee. We shouldn't have to deal with the added stress of all the little things. We should be able to take control and simplify.

Here are some ways to get rid of all the excess in your life so you can focus on the important things.

Sometimes the struggle to get through the day consumes all our energy. We wake up, look into the mirror and start finding faults with every last bit of us. We go through the day crippled by insecurity and we let it control all our social interactions. How many times did you fail to approach someone, talk to someone, because you thought you’re too boring, too ugly, and too useless to really be worth someone’s time? I used to be like that myself, for a very long time. I wish I could say something clicked in my head all of a sudden and I woke up feeling fresh, positive and happy with all that I am. In truth, it took a lot of trial and error and a lot of time to get where I am now. That’s why I want to share a few tips, in hope that whoever reads them takes my advice and stops wasting time on feeling insecure. If you want to know what you can do to boost your self-esteem, read on.

I've suffered from anxiety for about 15 years. I can still remember my first anxiety attack - I had no idea it would be something I'd have to deal with for the rest of my life. I also had no idea how it would affect the people around me. It's a hard thing to explain what you're experiencing to someone who has never had to deal with an anxiety disorder before.